[grunts]
Hi, Emma.
Hi, Mike.
This is for you.
[ringing]
Yo, Rob, it's Mike.
So today's the big day, eh?
Yeah. Hell, yeah.
And you're feeling ready?
Yeah, guess I am.
Still a bit worried, you know, she ain't gonna go with it.
Come on. She really likes you.
There's no way she can say no.
Yeah, hope so.
So how long?
Ah, ten minutes, my place.
I'm just going down to the store.
So if I'm not here, I'm there
or on my way back.
Cool? Done.
I'll see you in ten.
Later.
¶ [funk]
¶ [honky-tonk]
Hey, clown!
What's that?
[grunts]
Fuck. [grunts, groans]
[chuckles] Fucking bitch.
¶ [continues]
[tires screeching]
[grunts]
Fuck!
Fuckin' amateurs.
[ringing] Yo, yo, yo.
I'm on my way. I know. I just got beat up.
What? Yeah, totally random.
Some guys just smacked me over in the park.
You all right, or-
Yeah, I think so.
They didn't get the ring, did they?
Yeah, they got the case. It had the ring in it.
Oh, shit!
Yeah. I've got a plate number, if that helps.
Yeah, possibly, but the car's probably stolen.
[stammering] These guys are fucking idiots.
Get this.
They didn't take my Rolex or my cell.
They didn't take your Rolex?
Fucking amateurs.
Yeah, that's what I said.
Well, give me the number.
All right.
O- D-9...
Kinda hard to read this crap.
O- D-9-1-4-6.
O- D-9-1-4-6? That right?
Yeah, I think so.
What sort of car was it?
Like an old-school red wagon.
Maybe a Mazda.
And, uh, how many guys were there?
Kinda hard to tell. I was getting my ass beat.
Think there were two guys.
What'd they look like?
I don't know, like wannabe gangsters?
I wanna be Eminem?
Couple of white guys, I think.
Right. Look, don't stress.
I'll pass this on to Wax.
He'll find out something about them pretty quick.
In the meantime, just stay where you are.
Okay? Over.
All right, later.
[car alarm chirps]
Shit, man.
That's some bad timing.
Yeah, no shit.
You look all right. Anything hurt or-
Ah, just some bruises, I think.
So where did it all go down?
I was, like, right here, man. I was walking down here.
Saw a guy, looked up, another guy smacked me.
I went down, they kicked me, took my wallet, the case,
booked to the car, did a U-turn up there.
Just some punks.
I figure they saw a guy in a suit, you know, and-
What the fuck is that piece of shit? Where's your car?
[laughs] That.
I just stole it.
You stole it?
What the fuck? Where's your car?
It's parked back up there.
Why? - Well, you said you were beaten up.
I thought there might be some blood or some shit.
Didn't want blood all over my leathers.
Blood? What the fuck is wrong with you?
You're an idiot. Fuck you.
You said you were all busted up.
Forget it. Give me the keys.
No way. You're in no state to drive.
You just got beaten up.
Just give me the fucking keys.
There are no keys. I just stole it.
Well, how do I start it?
It's still running.
Well, what if it stops?
There's a screwdriver in the ignition. Just turn it.
A screwdriver? Well, that's cool.
Look at the line.
What line?
The line of bitches chasing the bling ride.
¶ [drumbeat on radio]
This piece of shit.
You put the hand brake, right?
I can't believe I got beat up.
Fuck it. [cell phone ringing]
Yo, yo, yo. What ya got?
Yeah, I've got an angle on the guys that just beat Mike up.
But, uh, I won't know where they are
till my source calls me back.
But...
But what?
I've got a cell number for one of the guys in the car.
No shit. He's got one of the cell numbers
for one of the guys in the car.
No shit.
Give it to me.
021-321-555.
021-321-triple 5. Got it.
Cool.
Hey, call us as soon as you got
any other angle on these guys.
Out. Out.
[ringing]
You calling 'em now?
Yo. - Yeah, who's this?
Someone. - Who the fuck's this?
Well, Someone, you have something of mine.
Something of yours, eh? Who the fuck are you?
I'm a guy wearing a black suit
who's missing his case. - It's the guy.
How the fuck did you get this number, you dick?
Shut the fuck up, cockjam.
This is how it's gonna work.
Exactly one hour from- from now,
I'm gonna find you and get my case back.
What? Fuck are you gonna get my case- - Ooh, nice.
Hello? Yeah, let's hope Wax comes through with a location.
I hate to be late.
No, he-
Wouldn't want to be late, now, would ya...
cockjam?
Shut up. [laughing]
What the hell is a cockjam anyway, man?
I don't know, I just made it up then.
Clearly.
You know, if we get to these idiots in an hour
and get the case back,
I should still be able to make my date with Emma.
Guess it all comes down to Wax now, doesn't it?
Well, he normally comes through.
Is that fucking A.M. radio?
Why don't you stop bitching?
No, I like bitching.
I reckon you stole this piece of shit on purpose
just to piss me off.
It's just a car.
No, it's not just a car.
A car says a lot about the man who drives it.
This car says, "I'm a fucking loser. "
You are the one driving it. - Yeah, not by choice.
What, so you think
the guy who drives this car
drives it by choice?
No. He drives it
'cause he doesn't have enough coin
to afford a proper ride.
Okay, it doesn't say I'm a fucking loser.
It says, "I'm a poor loser. "
That's worse. You're an idiot.
[chuckles]
[tires screeching]
Fuck.
If this thing had ABS brakes,
I wouldn't have hit the guy!
If you were not bitching and watching the road,
you wouldn't have even hit him.
It's just a bump anyway.
You're gonna talk to this guy.
Oh, yeah. Look at this guy. He's an idiot.
You all right there, buddy? - What?
Yes, I'm fine, but...
But look at my car! It's a mess!
Hey, it's not that bad.
I think your car's about as crappy as ours.
How 'bout we just leave it, you know, call it a day?
I beg your pardon? Well, I don't really care about this piece of junk.
Clearly it was your fault, but that's fine.
Let's just leave it, get on with our day.
It wasn't my fault. You hit me.
What? - It wasn't my fault.
I was backing out, and you hit me.
Did this idiot just say it was our fault?
Yeah, I think he did.
Excuse me, sir, but I am not an idiot.
You're starting to act like one.
Clearly it was your fault.
I'm happy to leave it and get on with my day.
Cool. I think we'd better call the police.
Hey, assfuck, you call the police, you better call a fucking ambulance as well,
'cause you'll fucking need one. - Easy.
I am going to call the police.
Didn't you hear what he said?
Don't fucking call the police.
Look, buddy, ain't got time for this crap.
See this?
It's a Rolex. It's worth about ten fucking times what your car's worth.
I'll give you this and you fuck off.
Otherwise, me and my friend here
are gonna beat the fuck outta you.
Under-fucking-stand? Well, come on, dickweed.
Take the watch and fuck off.
What the fuck are you looking at?
Take the watch.
Fuck off!
What a nob.
You shouldn't have given him the watch, though, man.
I wanted to fucking smash that guy.
Yeah, well, so did I.
Technically, we've got more important shit to do today.
You're right. - Should we roll?
[engine starts]
[Announcer on radio] This is Solid Gold, and-
This piece of junk still runs.
Guess that's a good thing.
Is there any damage?
Nothing. Yeah. Told ya.
I know how to pick 'em.
Yeah, clearly.
So where we heading?
I figured we'd meet up with the guys
until we, you know, hear about this dude.
What about some lunch?
Oh, let's do it...
when we meet the guys, yeah?
Fine.
Is that a drink? Down there?
Yeah. Someone else's.
Hang on.
I just saw someone I need to see.
Who?
Someone.
Oh, fuck. No way.
We're on the clock, man.
You told those guys one hour.
Yeah, and we're just waiting to hear back from Wax.
Until we do, we're just killing time.
This is bullshit.
I'm not waiting in the car. - Fine.
[car door slams]
Giselle. Mike, oh my God.
I haven't seen you in ages.
Where you been? - I've been overseas.
Only got back today.
Yeah?
Wow. What brings you around these ways?
Well, I came to see you.
Really? Really.
[clears throat] Oh, hi, Rob. How are you?
Yeah, good, Giselle. You? - Good.
Gimme a second.
What?
Don't you think today, of all fucking days,
is not the day you should be messing around with Giselle?
Dude, chill out. We're just waiting anyway.
I'm gonna be, like, five minutes.
If you were doing the same shit,
you think I wouldn't wait for you?
So what you doing?
Well, I was supposed to meet a friend a bit later.
Can it wait? Yeah, it can wait.
Will I get the tour?
You've already had the tour. - I need a refresher.
Okay.
The door. Get the door.
[cell phone rings]
Shit.
What? Ha ha.
What the fuck!
There's fucking less time now.
Get your clothes off!
Yeah, just a packet of Marlboro Reds, please.
Okay, 10.20.
What am I, paying for my new lungs up front, or-
I suppose.
Nine dollar eighty, thank you.
[cell phone ringing]
Yeah, Rob.
Rob, we got a problem.
Yeah, I know. We're waiting for Wax
to call us back so we can solve it.
No, it's a new problem.
Well, you'll just have to solve it.
You're fucking not listening.
We're tied up here. - You sort it, and now!
Well, what's wrong?
Remember that fucker we got the info off?
Yeah, Nickel? - That's him.
Well, he's decided in his fucking infinite wisdom
that he needs more cash.
We all bloody paid him his end already.
No shit, but the cocksucker reckons
he can fucking sweat us for some more cash.
Figures he's looked at our end
and figured we can afford it.
Well, he figured wrong.
Problem is, he's on about making fucking noises to Max,
which you can imagine is gonna cause us
some serious fucking headaches.
How long?
Said he'd make the call in about an hour
if he doesn't hear from us.
Fuck that little shit.
We'll go and pay him a visit now. - Where is he?
He's at the shop.
All right, we'll call you when it's sorted.
Out.
[thud] [groans]
That's for your cocksucking boyfriend fucking Nickel.
I told you I'd be quick.
Yeah. It's nothing to be proud of.
Fast sex is better than no sex.
I don't see any sex around here.
Yeah, you're right. I usually look quite good.
I don't know what's happening to me today.
It's all on the wank bank.
Anyway, we gotta roll.
What, did you get the call?
No, we got another problem.
Why is that not a surprise?
It's just one of those days, I suppose.
We gotta go and see Nickel.
Seems he suddenly wants more cash.
Why?
I don't know, 'cause he's a dickhead?
Anyway, he told Leroy he'd see Max
if we don't front up with more cash within the hour.
An hour? Why is everything about an hour today?
Where is he? - He's at the shop.
That's close, right? - Couple of minutes down the road.
Well, let's go negotiate.
Yeah. Can we do it with a bat?
No, it's not gonna have to go that far. - Why not?
Why do you always wanna bash people?
[engine starts]
[cell phone ringing]
Yo. Hi, Mike. It's Giselle.
Hey.
Hey, I'm really glad you came 'round today.
I really miss you.
And I don't think you should be going overseas like this anymore.
[phone beeps] Whatever.
Who was that?
Giselle. - Fuck!
What'd she say?
Some crap about missing me.
What, so you hung up on her?
Yeah, so?
Why?
'Cause I didn't want to talk to her.
Yeah, why?
I don't know, 'cause I didn't.
What is this, 20 questions with Dr. Phil?
I'm just trying to find out
how a guy can sleep with a chick
and then, like, hang up on her two minutes later.
It's easy.
I just pressed this little red button
and the bitch went away.
I just think it's cold, man, totally cold.
I mean, don't you think it might not be upsetting for her, or-
Yeah. - Glad I'm not her, then.
You've got some problems.
You're not actually all there, you know?
Hey, Nickel. What's up, man?
My name's George. No one calls me Nickel anymore.
Well, I do, so it ain't nobody now, is it, dickweed?
Watch what you say, buddy.
Or what?
What, you'll dry clean me?
Huh, you think that's funny?
Yeah, I thought it was funny.
Well, fuckin'-
Where the hell's my money, eh?
What money?
The extra 10K you owe me.
10K? Yeah.
Ten-fucking-K? - Yeah, that's right.
What happened to the 5K we gave you last time?
Why do you suddenly need more?
Hey, from what I've heard, right,
you guys haven't kept up with your end of the deal.
So, I just figured that I-
I get what I deserve.
Yeah. You know, I agree, mate.
[body thuds] What the fuck are you doing?
Negotiating. - What the fuck kind of negotiating is that?
It was effective. Bullshit!
You just shot him. That's not effective negotiation,
that's just shootin' a guy. - Yeah, well, it worked, didn't it?
What is wrong with you?
He was annoying me, mate. - He was annoying me-
[grunts] What the fuck?
You just shot another guy. What are you, drunk?
He saw me with the gun.
Who cares? You didn't need to shoot the fucking guy.
Come on, man, we coulda come up with something else. What was I supposed-
What the fuck? There's a pile of dead people!
You never heard of a lock? Lock the fucking door!
[door closes] Lock the door! Turn the thing.
What thing? - The thing! The fucking sign!
The open/closed sign! We're fucking closed!
Aw, dude, you shot a hot chick.
- You can't shoot a hot chick. It ruins the ratio. - What ratio?
The fucking hot chick to normal chick ratio.
Look, there's 10 hot chicks in the city, right,
and 500,000 normal bitches.
It's a 1 to 50,000 ratio. Not anymore, you fucked it.
- You swear a lot. - Fuck you!
- See? - Yeah, and you shoot people a lot, you nut.
I'll take the fucking swearing.
Now what the fuck we gonna do?
Look at my suit. It's the blinging shit, right?
Probably getting blood on it, have to get it fucking dry cleaned.
It is a dry cleaner's, mate.
I know that, dickwad, but you shot the guy.
He's fucking currently indisposed.
Some would call it dead.
You shot him, remember?
He's not dry cleaning anything anymore.
I don't know how to do it. What the fuck is dry cleaning anyway?
How the fuck do you clean something
without making it wet?
It's some sort of chemical deal where they-
Oh, shut the fuck up.
Just get the bodies.
Get him.
Fucking heavy bastard.
Come on.
Yeah, I got her.
Keep it going. Keep going.
All right, what now? [cell phone rings]
Oh, shit.
[ringing]
What?
You got another problem.
Well, now what? - It's your missus.
She's been trying to get hold of you all day.
Something to do with the kid. Sounds urgent.
Oh, I'm on a different SIM card. Yeah, right, I'll call her.
Oh, any luck on this guy yet?
What's the deal with this guy? How long?
[Wax] Yeah, I should have a location soon.
Ten minutes, max. - Ten minutes.
Yeah, cool. Later.
Uh, ten minutes till we know where these guys are.
You gave it to the guy with the car, remember?
Oh, yeah. Well, we're gonna need this time, man.
Burgess- Um, Michelle just called him.
Something wrong with Bailey.
What's wrong with the little guy?
I don't know, mate. She didn't say.
Let's get the fuck outta here.
How do we lock the door, man?
What, you didn't lock it?
No, we need the key.
You just wanna shoot more people.
No, I don't.
I'll get the key.
All right. Roll.
You think you could do me a favor
and not shoot anybody else today?
That depends.
On what?
On whether any other annoying weasels like that guy
try and screw us for more cash.
Yeah, that's fair, I guess.
[cell phone rings]
Yo. - Yeah, hi.
It's Bill here from Downtown Carpets.
Just checking that we're still on for that 3:00 appointment.
3:00 what?
Uh, 3:00 carpet cleaning appointment.
Wrong number, buddy.
What, this isn't 021-615-22- [beeps]
Wrong number?
Yeah, some carpet cleaning guy.
You sure it was a wrong number?
Yeah, why?
Maybe someone's onto us.
You ever heard the term "paranoia"?
I'm not being paranoid, I'm being careful.
Oh, careful.
Like the three people you shot back there.
That was solving a problem.
No, that was creating three more problems.
Whatever.
Why did you have to steal a car with an A.M. radio?
Why are you always bitching?
About time.
We're here, aren't we?
Why is it always so hard to get hold of you?
I just don't understand it. Hi, Rob.
Michelle. - Well, what's up?
Well, better come inside.
Can I get you a drink? Anything?
Yeah, no thanks. Get to the point.
This better not be about money.
Fuck you.
Well, come and tell, for fuck's sake.
So it is about money.
Fuck you, Mike. - No, fuck you, Michelle.
Why the fuck is this my problem?
'Cause it's about your son.
What the fuck is going on?
Mike, I couldn't do it.
I couldn't do it any longer.
What? Not again.
It was only supposed to be once.
I told you not in my fucking house,
not in front of my fucking son!
Our son! - Fuck.
I'm sorry. Fuck! - Easy, Mike.
It's not gonna help, man. - Fuck!
Talk!
There's these local guys.
I got some gear off 'em once. I just-
Well, I guess it became a regular thing.
And I owed them five grand, now they want ten,
and I just didn't know how to tell you,
'cause I knew how you were gonna react.
No shit.
So when'd you get the note?
I got it yesterday,
but that's not the problem.
It's how I got it that's the problem. - And?
Rob, you promise me you won't let him do anything?
What the fuck is it?
Promise me, Rob. - Yeah, Michelle, I promise.
Yesterday I found it in Bailey's lunch box
when he got home from school.
Where's Bailey now?
Bailey's at school. He's fine, okay?
Nothing's gonna happen to him.
I told them they can get their money tomorrow,
and the teachers are keeping an eye on him.
I told them this stranger was, you know-
And what about these guys?
How do we find them?
I wrote it down.
I know the place.
What are you gonna do about it?
We'll go and pay them a visit.
We'll sort something out.
These guys are really dangerous.
You gotta be careful.
Think we'll be all right.
Come on, Mike.
This is the last time, you understand that?
Yeah, I understand. Sorry. Okay?
Rob?
You promised me.
I fucking hate that bitch.
Are you all right?
Fine.
You don't seem all right.
In fact, I remember the last time I saw you like this,
and that can't happen again today.
Today's supposed to be your day.
It's supposed to be a good day.
You don't need this shit today.
It's my fucking kid, Rob.
There are rules, you know. You don't mess with a man's fucking children.
These guys broke the rules. I'm gonna make 'em regret it.
Think about it. What the fuck would you do?
Sure, do anything it takes.
So you with me on this one?
I always was, Mike.
It's that way. [cell phone rings]
Fuck.
Yo. Yo. I found our guy.
Yeah, okay. Where is he?
He's moving. He lives at, uh...
25 Campbell Road and drives a black Nissan Sunny.
Looks like he's just taken a walk up the street
or something, to the store.
Should catch him walking- - Black Nissan Sunny.
He's a white guy, medium build,
about six foot, with a white baseball cap.
Name's Gavin.
He definitely knows where the guys are with your ring, Mike.
Yeah, hang on. 25 Campbell Road.
White guy, Gavin, white baseball cap.
Okay, Wax, cool. I'll call you back.
Right. Out.
Right. Let's sort this guy out right now.
We'll come back and sort the other guys out soon as we've done this.
We still got time?
It's getting tight, but-
[sighs] Depends where the guys
with the case are if you still wanna do them...
both within the hour.
Otherwise, you'll have to choose.
Well, let's not fuck around then, yeah?
There he is.
Keep this quiet. - Done.
Hey, hey. Hey. Hey, mate. Mate.
Um, just looking for an address around here.
Actually, I've got the thing in my pocket, I can just-
[grunts]
[dog barking]
[blows landing]
[grunts, groans]
Fuck, man, I didn't do it.
Do what?
That guy the other night. My mate did it, not me.
The fuck are you on about?
Nice of you to join us.
This fucker thinks we're the cops or something.
He just started mouthing off about some other shit.
Who the fuck are you guys?
Shut the fuck up, guy. We're asking the questions here.
[groans, coughs]
We're looking for some friends of yours.
Two guys, cruise around in a little red wagon.
You know 'em?
Nah. Don't know what you're talking about, bro.
Shoot him in the knee, Rob.
No, no! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Look, I know the guys you're talking about.
But I can't tell you where they're at.
They'll fucking kill me.
What, you think we won't?
Rob, shoot him. - No, wait, wait, wait, wait.
All right, all right. You guys are fucking crazy.
And?
16 Redgrave Ave. They're there now, man.
Fuck! - How many guys?
Four. There's four of 'em.
Any guns?
No. They're just punks.
Well, that's my luck again.
You're a smart guy.
Let me make something real clear.
If we find out that you've told these guys we're coming to see them,
we'll kill you.
Does that make sense, nob jockey?
[laughs] What the hell's a nob jockey, mate?
It's what it sounds like. It's a guy who, like, rides nobs.
You know, at the rodeo.
Hey, man, I ain't fucking gay.
Sure you're not. [grunts]
What's up with that address?
Ah, just hold on.
Ow. Now get the fuck out of here.
Are we clear on our deal?
We find out that you rat on us,
or it's not the proper address,
we will find you.
You'll wish you were a fucking nob jockey, mate. We clear?
Yeah. - Okay.
Now get out of here, nob jockey.
You're liking that one, aren't you?
Yeah, nob jockey, it's good.
So what's up with the address?
Is it close? I wanna sort these other guys out if we got time.
Take a look.
Which one? Look at them both.
They're the same. Oh, you gotta be kidding me.
What's the fucking chance of that?
Probably pretty high.
I mean, how many crews would there be in this area?
So they did you over and Michelle buys her smack from them.
It's quite convenient, really.
Well, I'm not complaining.
Redgrave, right? - Yeah, number 16.
Dude, that's like a block away.
Let's roll. - Fuck yeah, let's roll.
Fuckin' wasted my suit.
It's fine.
You know, that's actually probably the first good thing
that's happened to us all day?
Yeah, no shit.
How we looking for time?
Plenty of time now. At least half an hour.
Fuck, that's gonna be some funny shit.
When we actually stroll into those guys within the hour.
Yeah, it's like that ad,
uh, you know?
Priceless. [laughs]
I wish we had a fucking camera, man.
It'd make a great e- mail joke.
We could have a shot of the guys taking the ring
and it says, "Stealing a man's engagement ring. "
And then a shot of us and the guys
after we see them, and then it says,
"Fucking dead. Priceless. "
[laughs]
I think you missed your calling in life, dude.
You should have been in advertising.
You reckon? - No!
You're a fucking psycho.
You woulda killed your boss on the first fucking day.
Fuck you, man.
See? You're a very angry man.
Fuck you, man.
Your suit all right?
Bit fucking filthy.
We laid into that guy something chronic.
Yeah, I think I heard a rib crack.
He shouldn't have run.
Can I drive?
No.
Why not?
'Cause it's my bling ride.
I'm kinda liking it now.
[ringing]
[rings] Yo.
Yo, we got the address. We may need a hand taking these guys down.
Where are they?
Uh, 16 Redgrave. Where you guys at?
Redgrave? Near your place?
Yeah. - Shit. We're just around the corner.
See you in two.
Meet you on the corner of Redgrave and Patterson.
Yeah, cool. Later.
They coming? - Yeah, a couple minutes away.
Let's do a drive by, see how it looks.
Yeah? - Yeah.
Just over here.
Redgrave?
That their car?
Yeah, that's it.
Looks like our man Gavin came through.
That's gum, man, not fucking wine.
What flavor is it?
Uh, kids' bubblegum flavor, I think.
Mmm...
old-school flavor.
Yeah, it's not bad.
How we going for gas?
Uh...
Uh, nearly half a tank, man.
[Announcer on radio] Good afternoon, it's Solid Gold,
your radio station... Yeah, here they are.
[car doors slamming]
Hey, guys. Complicated day, huh?
You reckon, Mike? Seems to be a fucking regular occurrence with you lately.
Yeah, no shit. Wax, man,
I don't know how you work your magic, but you certainly came through today.
Thanks, man. So what's the score?
We've done the drive by, and they're either inside or out the back.
Who's packing? - Just me.
But it's all silenced, so if we have to use it, no one'll hear.
Right. Me and Leroy in the back,
you guys in the front.
Our guy's told us they haven't got any guns,
so we just go in hard and fast and see what the fuck happens.
Sounds good. What about the cars?
[clears throat]
Where is your car?
What the fuck is this piece of shit?
I stole it.
You stole it. Why?
Look, cut the shit. We haven't got time.
We're going in the front, you're going in the back.
Just leave the engines running.
We'll call you when we're set.
So what's with this fucking piece of shit?
Oh, don't even start me.
Fucking Rob steals this piece of shit
because he didn't want to get blood on his leather.
What blood?
When I got beat up. He figured I was bleeding.
So he stole this piece of shit.
Fuck, he's a twat.
It's over there, Miss Daisy.
Wanker. Over here.
That's the spot.
This'll work.
Stairs. Fuck.
So how's your training going?
Yeah, not too bad.
What you dead-lifting at the moment?
'Bout the same weight as that bitch you picked up from the club the other day.
Dude, she wasn't that big.
Man, she was. I saw her.
How's your back?
Yeah, a bit sore. I think I pulled it on the final stroke.
One sec, man. - Why, too many burgers?
I really need to start doing some cardio, man. It's not good.
Yeah, you should try a stationary bike or something.
It's gay.
Ah, that's better.
You go.
Pump up my legs.
Just here.
All clear? - Looks clear.
Any dogs? - Don't see any.
[phone vibrates]
Yo. - Yo. You set?
Yeah. - Yeah, going in ten seconds.
Now from now.
You got the bat.
[Man, indistinct]
Agh!
[grunts]
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
That's enough, man, I think you got him.
Fucking working- - Yeah, you got him.
Fuck! And that's for making me climb fucking stairs.
Where's Rob?
Put the gun down.
You put the gun down, needle dick.
No way, man.
You put the gun down or he's fucking dead.
Where you gonna go, monkey spank?
Hey, fuck you!
Put the gun down or I'll fucking blow him away.
What the fuck is a monkey spank, man?
Ah, I don't know.
Then why'd you say it, man?
Just shut the fuck up!
I'm gonna fuckin' blow him away.
Put the fucking gun down or he'll kill me, Mike.
No, he won't. - Yes, I fucking will.
If he shoots you, I'll kill him.
Yeah, after I'm dead.
Just shoot the fucking wanker.
You shut the fuck up! Shut the fuck up!
You put a note in a kid's lunch box yesterday?
What?
Did you put a note in a kid's lunch box yesterday?
What of it?
[body thuds]
You fucking shot me, man.
No. I shot him. He's dead.
You shot my fucking ear off, man.
Let me see it. Ah, you'll live, Rob.
It's a nick. [Men laughing]
[Rob grumbles, indistinct]
Back in business.
Where's Rob?
[Rob] Right here, nob jockey!
[Leroy] What the fuck's a nob jockey?
It's like the rodeo. You know, eh?
What? Whatever.
Got the ring? - Sorted.
Right.
Let's roll real casual on the way out, okay?
We'll take my car.
Hey, do we still need the other one?
Oh, yeah, it's parked back there.
It's got our prints on it, gotta take it. - Right.
So where's the car?
Ah, it's one road back.
Just this way.
Correct me if I'm wrong, Mike,
because, you know, not being as clever as yourself,
but those looked and sounded a lot like fucking guns.
[laughing]
Yeah, our man Gavin wasn't very reliable, was he?
No shit.
Just here, Wax. By the car.
All right. So what's the plan?
Well, things are looking good now.
You know, with the way today's been going,
how 'bout we move this thing with Emma forward
from, uh, 3 till 2?
It's like ten minutes from now.
Yeah, it sounds good to me, but is Emma gonna be there?
Yeah, I called her this morning. She's got lunch. She's gotta be back.
Think you should check.
Right, you do it. I might get Emma.
Sure.
What's the number?
Oh, you ain't got it?
No, why would I?
Oh, so you think I've been having
a little bit of side action with your missus.
This is your way of checking.
You ever heard of the term "delusions of grandeur"?
Yeah, usually when you talk about your penis.
[Leroy laughs]
Just dial the number, funny man.
Yeah, what is the number?
Hang on.
Uh, 358-4756. [dialing]
[ringing]
Good afternoon, Gimmel's, this is Marcy speaking.
Oh, hi there, Marcy. Is Emma available, please?
Yes, I'll just connect you. May I ask who's calling?
Yeah, um, I'm Batman.
[Men chuckle] She's there.
Cool. We'll take the crap car, clean it up,
meet you guys at the back of Gimmel's 2 P.M., ten minutes from now.
Done. Later.
Yo, Rob. Nice car, wanker.
He's just jealous.
So he should be. Look at it. It's a piece of art.
[Announcer, on radio]... Glen Miller at Solid Gold.
¶ [swing, on radio]
So what are we doing? We only got, like, ten minutes.
Yeah, I realize this.
So?
I gotta make one stop.
It's right by Gimmel's. We'll be on time.
You're not gonna tell me, are you?
No.
Better not be a girl.
It's not a girl. Is it a man?
No, cheese dick, it's not a man.
Are you still seeing that chick Melissa? You know, the stripper.
Nah, we broke up.
Oh, yeah? What happened?
Caught her shagging some other guy,
so I shot her.
You shot her?
Yeah.
You don't think that's a bit excessive?
No, not really.
So did you shoot the guy too?
No, I couldn't really. I knew him.
Well, who was it?
It was Wax. Wax?
Yep. - Wax was shagging the same chick?
Yeah. - Well, how'd you find out?
I caught them.
You caught 'em?
Yeah. I went 'round to her house.
I heard some noise from the room, so I went in
and... there they were, so I shot her.
You shot her right there? - Yeah.
Well, what did Wax do?
Not a lot. Him and I cleaned things up
and then went to Burger Fuel for a burger.
A burger.
Yeah.
You know, the one with the bacon and the melted cheese and-
Oh, yeah, bacon backfire.
- Yeah, that's like the best burger around town. - Damn straight.
What, so this is it?
Well, it's not very manly.
Good afternoon. How could I help you?
Well, I need some flowers.
That we can do. Who are they for?
They're for a girl.
Okay, what's the event? Or is it just a gift?
Well, I'm proposing to her.
Wow, that's exciting.
Yeah, well, what sort of thing should I do?
Well, roses would probably be the most appropriate.
Yeah, I figured. I kind of wanted to do something,
you know, a bit different.
Like what?
Well, big.
Just big?
No, big and cool.
Okay, big and cool. We can do that.
Any particular color preference?
No, you can pick. - Okay.
Oh, you know, I've got an arrangement
I put together this morning.
I could add to it, which should be perfect. That okay?
Yeah, that's easier.
Sweet. Won't be long. Cool.
You know, you should really stop smoking.
You know, you should really fuck off.
Smoking's the new non-smoking, anyway, man.
Yeah, whatever.
Excuse me.
Would you like a card?
No, thanks.
That'll be $85.
Rob, need some cash.
What?
Cash.
How much?
100 bucks.
Hand it over, tightwad.
Am I gonna get it back, or-
No.
Thanks.
I should probably get your number, too.
Oh, I'll grab you a card.
No, no. I meant your number.
Didn't you just say you were proposing today?
Well, I haven't done it yet.
Uh, I don't think that'll be a good idea.
Ah, come on.
Come on, Romeo.
Ever heard of the term crash and burn, mate?
Give me a break. I was screwed after that proposal thing.
What do you think of those flowers?
Nice.
You reckon Emma'll like 'em?
Of course.
Putty in your hands.
Yeah, I hope so.
Don't stress.
What's up?
Be there in a couple of minutes.
Great. See you then.
We still got a bit of time, right?
Yeah, why?
Just wanna pick something up.
What?
Just a part for my reg.
What happened to your reg?
I don't know, it just started doing some weird shit.
It's right here, anyway.
Cool.
That's not bad.
Hi, there. Can I help you?
Yeah, just picking up a part for my regulator.
I'm not sure what brand it was.
Yup, I know the one. I'll go grab it.
Cheers.
You can't have any knives.
Why not, you cock?
Right, here you go.
Do I owe you anything for that?
Uh, no, no.
Pretty sure it's paid for.
Yep.
Do you know how to fit it?
All good. Cheers, sir.
Cheers.
That's a nice kit.
Yeah, it's not bad.
When's the, uh-
When's the last time we went diving?
Would've been with Wax last Christmas.
Yeah, yeah, you're right.
It's that guy, mate.
Ha!
Hey. Hey, excuse me, guy.
Remember us?
Hey, pal.
Leave me alone.
Where you going?
Hey, don't do it.
Don't do it.
Oh, he's done it!
Rob? Rob?
Yeah, I'll call you back.
Wanker!
Get him down.
Ugh! Ah!
Where's my watch?
I don't have your watch.
Give me the watch.
You hit my car. - It's my watch now.
No, it's your fault! Give me the watch!
Hey, guys, what's going on?
What are you looking at?
A couple of guys beating up on someone?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm gonna stop you.
Really?
Look, it's not really any of your business.
See, this guy here-
What are you doing?
It's the Karate Kid.
[gunshot]
Why'd you shoot him?
Well, he was beating you.
You were losing.
No, he wasn't!
He, like, hit you four times, and you maybe got one in.
They didn't even hurt. I was just warming up.
From where I was standing, you were losing.
Losing? When was the last time I lost a fight?
About an hour ago. You got beat up, remember?
That doesn't count.
Oh, not again!
Come on, old guy. Where are you going?
What are you doing? What are you doing?
Give me the watch, speedy.
Give it up.
Screw you. What is your problem?
What's your deal?
Your deal, what do you do? - What?
What do you do for a job?
I am a parking warden.
That explains it.
Explains what?
Forget it.
Don't talk to anybody about that.
We know where to find you.
Later, guy.
How do we know where to find him, man?
We don't.
What about your watch?
You're just gonna leave the guy there, or...
I feel sorry for him.
Why?
He's a parking warden.
Parking wardens don't have any friends.
Yeah, I suppose you're right.
If he, like, announced at a party he was a parking warden,
I think the whole place would fall silent.
Yeah.
I couldn't be friends with a parking warden.
There's something wrong about it.
I'll tell ya, the next guy that does a run on us,
I'm gonna kill him.
You got my permission.
I hate running.
You know, you should really get rid of your gun.
Why?
Well, that's pretty obvious, isn't it?
Oh, you think maybe I should
get, like, a little band or something?
No, I mean you should stop shooting people.
Whatever.
[police siren]
Shit.
It's a cop.
Fucking cops. What are we gonna do now?
Quick, give me a key. Any key. Quick.
Hi, Officer, what can I do for you?
You can step out of the vehicle, please, sir.
What?
Step out of the vehicle, please, sir. - Why?
Hey, this is not some sort of discussion we're having here.
Step out of the vehicle.
No, I'm not moving
till you tell me what I did wrong.
You'll do what I say when I tell you to.
I'm a police officer! Step out of the vehicle!
No, you tell me what the fuck I've done wrong!
This vehicle's been reported stolen.
Stolen? Bullshit! I just bought it!
He's just bought this car.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's not what my information tells me.
Well, your information is wrong!
I just bought this thing yesterday off some guy.
Check your information, it's fucking wrong!
Hey! Watch your tone.
No, you watch your tone!
You're accusing me of stealing this car!
I didn't steal it, I just bought it!
Clearly, the guy I bought it from is trying to scam me!
Check your in- - Here, take the key. Take the key!
I'm not going anywhere. Check your information.
[stammering]
I'm gonna go back there
and run this through the computer,
and I hope, for your sake, that information's wrong.
You've got a bad attitude.
I h- Shut it.
I hope that information's wrong.
What now?
Just shoot the guy.
What? No.
Just shoot the idiot.
You told me to stop shooting people.
I changed my mind.
Just shoot the guy.
No.
Give me the gun. - No!
Look, I've got another idea.
Do it quick!
Police, please. Police.
Hello? We've been robbed.
There's a guy. He's got a gun.
Oh, my God. He's just shot someone.
We're at 26 Kipper Road. Come now! Quick!
Come!
[police radio chatter]
Attention all units. Attention all units.
417 in progress. All available units respond to 2-6 Kipper Road.
Proceed with caution. Shots fired.
Who's the shit? - I'm the shit.
I can't believe that shit worked.
Brilliant.
You know, I was wrong about that advertising thing.
You should have been an actor.
You think so?
No, you're a fucking psycho.
You would've killed the director on the very first day.
Fuck you, man.
I can't believe that worked.
Who's the shit? - I'm the shit.
¶ Got a troubled mind, and I'm feeling sad ¶
¶ I've lost the only love that I ever had ¶
¶ Since he's gone, nothing's fine ¶
You sure she's gonna like those flowers?
Oh, positive.
¶ Oh, yes, a tumblin' ¶
¶ A tumblin', tumblin' down ¶
¶ Tumblin', tumblin' ¶
See, I told you you don't have to shoot people.
Use intelligence over brawn.
It did work.
¶ I've lost my love, my one and only ¶
¶ Black autumn leaves falling on the ground ¶
[cell phone rings]
Yo, what you got?
What happened, fuck head?
We're on our way.
Right.
¶ Tumblin', tumblin', tumblin' down ¶
¶ My love came tumblin' down ¶
¶ Now I'm left with memories ¶
¶ The happiest days that used to be ¶
¶ Now you're gone and homeward bound ¶
Should we clean the car for prints?
No, fuck it.
¶ Tumblin', tumblin', tumblin' down ¶
¶ Tumblin', a tumblin', tumblin' down ¶
¶ Tumblin', tumblin', tumblin' down ¶
So this is it.
You ready?
Yeah, I just hope she'll say yes.
Don't sweat it, man. She will.
You guys ready with your song and dance?
Yeah, man, we're ready.
Yeah, don't know about them,
but I've been moving like James Brown.
I thought you were MC Hammer, mate.
Cool, as long as you get the routine right,
I don't care if you guys look like Vanilla Ice or something.
Hey, Mike, we got it, man. Yeah.
All right, I'll see you guys soon.
Later.
Hi, Emma.
Hi, Mike.
This is for you.
For me?
Yeah.
She's gonna say yes. Calm down, man. Calm down.
Hi.
Hey, how you doin'?
Good, thank you. How are you?
I'm not bad.
How can I help you today?
I'm just looking for Emma. Is she around?
Yes, I'll just get her.
Cool. Thank you.
Mike. Hey.
Hi, how are you doing?
This is a surprise.
Yeah. I was just in the area,
I thought I'd pop in and say hello.
I had an amazing time last night.
Yeah, so did I.
I got something for you.
Oh, a present?
Flowers.
Mike, oh, my God.
And something else.
For me?
No, smart ass, it's the ring you valued last week.
I've gotta go out of town for a couple of days.
I was a bit worried about leaving it in the house.
I was hoping you could put it in the vault.
You know, I'm not actually supposed to.
It's just a couple of days.
Well, it's fine. Just give it to me.
I'll put it in the vault now.
Thanks.
You can make it up to me tonight.
Deal.
All right. Have you got the time?
Get on the ground! It's a robbery!
Get down!
Get on the ground!
Get the fuck down! Move!
Everybody down on the fucking ground!
Down!
Down on the fucking floor!
Don't fucking move! Move, you die!
I'll shoot you in the fucking face!
Don't move!
¶ [shuffle]
¶ Am I greed, am I gall? ¶
¶ Am I cold, am I tall? ¶
¶ How to breathe when I'm born? ¶
¶ Is it warm, is it wrong? ¶
¶ I will take you along ¶
¶ When I feel ¶
¶ This sliding... ¶
[Mike] $61/2 million worth
of someone else's diamonds.
And we had a big problem.
The problem is
most people wouldn't fuck with that someone else.
That someone else is probably the...
Now when he finds out we've stolen his diamonds,
he's going to want to do very bad things,
so we've got about two hours
to be out of the country,
or we're going to wish we were already dead.
That two hours starts now.
Freeze!
Let me see your hands.
Now down on the ground right now!
No.
Down on the ground!
You know, you need to calm the fuck down.
You know, you need to get on the fucking ground!
No, cock smuggler.
What's a cock smuggler?
Yeah, Mike. - What the fuck's a cock smuggler?
You fuckers know anything?
It's pretty straightforward.
It's a guy who smuggles cock.
There's only two places you can smuggle a cock.
Both of them are bad.
Now supposedly you're saying he's gay.
Well, he looks gay.
No. You look gay.
That's true, Mike. You do look gay.
I look gay? Why didn't you tell me?
It's the hairdo. Makes you look gay.
Very funny, dick lash.
Look, this is not my normal hairstyle.
I stole the suit- We all stole the suits
so we can go in here-
Mike, I don't think the cop needs to know all this.
Yeah? You're the one who looks gay.
I'm just trying to clear shit up.
You seem very concerned about appearing gay.
There's nothing wrong with bring gay.
I didn't say there was anything wrong with being gay.
I just said you look gay.
You're very homophobic.
Maybe you should just come out.
I like this guy.
Well, why don't you just sleep with him?
Oh, I think he likes you, Mike.
Ah. You want to touch me.
Yeah, I want to touch you...
with my fist.
Fist? That's a bit weird for me, guy.
Get used to it.
You guys are going to be doing
a lot of weird shit in jail.
Jail?
Great fucking plan, Mike.
What?
Your plan, it was shit.
Fuck you. The plan was fine.
Doesn't look fine to me.
Looked pretty fucked to me.
How the fuck was I supposed to know
this cop was going to be here?
Did you ricky the location? Me and Wax did.
Whatever. You fucked up.
Fuck you! - Fuck you!
Fuck you!
On the ground, funny man!
Down!
Cock smuggler!
You like that?
Drop that!
Shit!
Fuck!
I'm out! - What the fuck?
Who the fuck were you aiming at?
Fucking cops, smart-ass. - They're not trees!
Just give me another fucking clip.
That's it, Bremer.
There's no more fucking bullets.
How are you?
I'm out.
I've got one left.
Oh, f-
What the fuck are you doing?
She saw me with the gun.
You just shot an old lady, you dick!
You're fucking crazy.
He's been doing it all day,
starting with fucking Nickel!
What? You shot Nickel?
Yes. - Good.
I've got four rounds left, Mike. What now?
I'm gonna go around back.
You keep them interested. Right now. - Go!
See, boys? That's how you do it.
Not bad. - Get back!
What now?
I've got two rounds left.
Well, I guess Mike can do
some of his Bruce Lee shit on the cops.
I wouldn't count on it.
He's naught from two already today.
What's happened?
First he got beaten up with the case,
then he got beaten up by some guy
at the train station. - Some guy beat Mike up?
Who the fuck was the guy?
Just some guy. Anyway, long story.
He's moving.
Fuck! I'm out.
Do you like sushi?
Yeah.
No. Not really.
Oh, there's an amazing place in Howick,
just right as you come into the village.
What's it called?
Fucking some Japanese name. I can't pronounce it.
No, no. I like fillet, mate.
Eye fillets are good,
but the bits, the portions are too small.
Not if you go to Sanford's in the city.
They do massive portions.
You actually pick the steak you want
from the display case,
then the chef comes out
and cooks it right in front of you.
Serious? Sounds good.
Freeze! [mouths word]
Put your guns down.
On the ground!
Yeah, and your pistol.
Real slow. Let me see your hands.
Turn around, smuggler.
What? - Turn around!
Aah!
You're a big guy, aren't you, Sasquatch?
Kick the gun over, Big Foot.
Kick it over.
Ha. No ammo in that gun, Chewbacca.
Neither is that one.
What? Shit!
What the fuck!
What are you, some sort of fighter?
Everybody a fucking fighter today?
All right.
Back!
The man's good.
If it's one of those Frenchies doing that,
I'm having steak tonight.
I think Mike will have something to say about that.
You know what? Fuck Mike.
Actually, Mike likes meat. - Rob! Rob!
Pity he does with his- [continues indistinct]
You know what I mean? - Rob!
Did you hear that?
[grunting]
Aah! Aah!
Rob! [screams]
Shit! Fuck!
Where the fuck were you guys?
We were waiting for the right time.
Waiting? I had to fight this fucking freak show!
Mike, don't be fucking gay. It's one fucking cop.
This is no normal fucking cop.
Who is he? RoboCop?
No! SuperCop!
What's the ratio on that?
Ratio? 1 in 2,000!
So different from the hot-chick ratio, then.
Of course it's different
from the fucking hot-chick ratio, fuck-knuckle!
If you got this fucking guy now,
they're writing a Superman, Batman,
the guy with the fucking lantern,
and fucking AquaDude-
Mike! Mike! - What?
We need to go.
Fine.
Give me that.
What's this hot-chick ratio?
It's complicated.
No, I want to know.
Forget it.
[police siren]
[no audible dialogue]
Subtitles by LeapinLar